The other day I shared with you Anna's story - a simplified but true version that I am easily able to tell her at bed time. I wanted to share a comment I received and give a follow-up:

Rakefet writes:

... I love the story, but maybe you could add where Anna was and what she was doing from the time she was born until you found her. After all, every person's story whether or not they were adopted, starts when they were born.

First of all excellent comment. I guess I didn't include the part that... more

Our bedtime ritual is having special time for questions. My husband loves to read the kids books and does all the funny voices that I honestly don't have the strength for at the end of a long day; so when he's not around to do bedtime, I lie down with Anna and say "Do you have any questions?"

Lately she's been saying she wants to tell me jokes, but I convince her to tell me her jokes in the morning and that it's just time for questions. She often asks me to tell her the story of her adoption. I think that everyone should be able to tell their child the story of how they got here - this is Anna's story as I tell it to her.

Mommy and Daddy were little kids just like you a long... more

I think that there are points in one's life where you want to fit in - dress the same, talk the same, look the same and act the same as everyone else. At other times in your life, you may choose to stand out - kids often reach this point in the early teenage years or when they go to college - trying to find out who they are.

It is my belief that children who are adopted may be forced to make these decisions a bit earlier on, or at least are more conscious of the fact that they are making those decisions at all. I always thought that I'd be the parent that wouldn't give into requests from my child trying to be like the other kids in her class (example: Sara has Barbie shoes - I want... more

I found a good article at the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism site that I want to share with you. Some of you may be aware of the issues facing converts to Judaism from denominations other than Orthodoxy (for more information on the details of that please see my earlier posts "Sticky conversion issues parts I and II). This article from USCJ touches on those issues without making it the focus of the article. It's a nice overview of the idea of adopting as a Jewish family, looks at different angles of the subject,... more

I've talked before about how we teach Anna about being Jewish. Something that I know other observant parents grapple with is how to teach - or not to teach - their kids about different observance levels. For example, when we are walking to synagogue on Shabbat and a car passes by, Anna will sometimes ask why they are driving (we don't drive on the Sabbath). Instead of the easy answer "they are not Jewish," I try to remember to say "maybe they aren't Jewish, or maybe they just don't keep Shabbat the same way we do."

Anna has seen my father drive on Shabbat, and other relatives come and go by car on holidays. Instead of hiding these things from her in order to keep her in a bubble,... more

I don't talk about Israel much on this blog. Maybe I should, maybe I shouldn't. I'm a very political person in my real life - I used to work in politics, I have very strong opinions on issues, and I enjoy a good debate on any topic. But here on the blog, I try to stay apolitical. Israel tends to be a hot button issue for a variety of reasons, and most people tend to have opinions as far as what Israel should be doing about this or that. So I try not to get into it.

However, I do think that wherever you stand on issues relating to politics, all American Jews - all Jews worldwide for that matter, should develop a strong connection to Israel. We should all make the effort to visit Israel,... more

This weekend, we are going away for a cousin's Bar Mitzvah. A Bar Mitzvah is the celebration of a boy reaching the age of mitzvot - the age when he becomes responsible for his actions as a full fledged member of the Jewish community. A girl celebrates this milestone at the age of twelve or thirteen depending on the movement and community. It has special significance for the Jewish adopted child.

When Anna was adopted, we - as her parents - had her converted to Judaism. It was our choice for her. As she becomes a Bat Mitzvah, she will be affirming that she wants to accept upon her the choice that we made. Some kids actually choose to incorporate the official "act of choosing" into... more

Choosing the right school for your child is something that every parent deals with in some way or another. Some public school systems have programs that concentrate more on math or science or the arts. Sometimes parents move to a specific neighborhood because the schools in that district are known to be of a high caliber. I think that all parents wonder how their kid will "fit in" throughout his or her school years, and this issue is probably more on the minds of adoptive parents. Throw in the "Jewish" factor into the mix, and choosing the right school for your child becomes a big deal.

I think that Jewish adoptive families - especially those that are multiracial as well - need to... more

Anna is four. She realized at an early age that her skin is 'brown' and my husband and I are 'tan.' Just as she understood that she was a girl and other creatures are boys. She knew she was adopted. She knew she was Jewish. Today, at four years old, she is still working to put the pieces together. And underneath all my feelings, as much as I suppress it and have never voiced the thought, I wonder if we made the right choice for her.

I know we made the right choice. Anna could have spent her entire childhood bouncing from foster home to foster home, only to find herself on the streets at eighteen years of age. I know Anna could have been abused in the system. I know how she may have... more

I think being a parent is the hardest job you will ever have. It certainly is the hardest one that I have held - and I've worn many, many hats. But it is by far the most rewarding one, and I can't imagine my life any other way.

And when I say hardest, I suppose I really mean challenging. I have been blessed with a really smart four year old daughter who asks tough questions. So, based on the few years of experience I have had trying to answer her as she ponders the mysteries of life, I'll share some ideas with you now.

-- Only give answers you are comfortable giving. Saying something like "G-d made each of us a little different" or "G-d wanted us to be part of the same family"... more