One of the things that all families should do from time to time is have a family field trip. While long vacations are lovely, they are expensive and few and far between. I think all families can find at least one day a year when everyone is available to do a day trip, taking advantage of local museums, theaters, concerts etc. that are often overlooked. Here are some ideas:

-- Look for something that appeals to everyone in some way. That doesn't mean it needs to be everyone's favorite activity.

-- Check your local paper. Many newspapers have a weekend section, datebook, or some sort of listing of events locally. Many are free and open to the public. Don't forget to check out... more

I went to a meeting for Jewish Adoptive and Multicultural families in New York last week. Unfortunately, I came late and had to leave early, so I didn't get the benefit of the whole evening and missed out on shmoozing with other parents, which I really would have liked. But what I heard was good - it reinforced a lot of ideas and things that we are already doing as a family, and I was also able to pick up some literature that I'll be combing through over the next week or so. Although it seemed to be geared mostly to Jews adopting from China, a great deal of what was said is applicable to any adoptive parent.

Some ideas that I wanted to share with you -

-- If you... more

Most people with kids have some sort of a bedtime routine for them - or at least try to. It helps the kid with understanding the schedule and accepting that it is, indeed, time to go to sleep - and there is not much they can do to avoid it. While we are still working on convincing our children that they actually are supposed to be sleeping at night, we have at least established some sort of routine. After getting into pajamas, Anna gets either ten more minutes to play or one or two stories, depending on how late it is. When I lie down with her in bed,... more

After looking at this topic from a few different angles, the question at the bottom line is how much of an issue is religion for you as adoptive parents going through the process and for the potential birth family as they make their choices as well. I do know some Jewish families who decide that they only feel comfortable adopting a Jewish child or infant, even knowing that the wait for a child will almost certainly be longer.

Equally, on the other hand, potential birth mothers (or parents) often express their preferences with regards to the type of family that will become their child's parents. Through an agency or an attorney, they may even select or interview potential adoptive... more

I talked the other day about why one needs to carefully consider what information to talk about with a potential birth family - including religion. It's important to keep in mind that with any kind of open adoption situation, the information is bound to come out sooner or later, and one needs to think about what would be better discussed sooner. Today, I wanted to bring up the emotional angle as an adoptive parent.

To get to where we are, many of us have struggled with infertility, possibly years of treatment only to go through the emotional decision to stop and pursue other... more

Something that I have overlooked talking about is the fact that the Passover story is perhaps one of the earliest records of an adoption taking place. Moses, as an infant, was placed in the Nile River in a basket (because Pharoh had decreed that all male infants should be killed, Moses' mother was trying to save him) and he was retrieved by the daughter of Pharoh himself and raised in his household. The name Moses, as the Bible states, comes from "because I drew him out of the waters." Although one could say that there is an earlier adoption story in the Bible with Abraham and Lot, I think that was more of a case of Lot being taken under Abraham's wing and helped out in life. Besides, Lot... more

I got an email a few weeks ago from Jewish Lights Publishing on a new book they just put out. Jewish Lights is a company that puts out books of Jewish content targeted for people of any background - Jewish or not, observant, religious or unaffiliated. The new book is called What Makes Someone a Jew?, and is geared for ages 3 to 6 years old. The book, by Lauren Seidman, looks at the different things that make us all one people, and how alike and different we are at the same time. The pictures are great - very multiracial. It makes a great starting point to talk to kids who are adopted about their background, and how they are part of the... more

There was a recent article published in The New York Times on dealing with being adopted, Chinese and becoming a Bat Mitzvah. The article is interesting - certainly worth reading, although please be forewarned that the description of the Bat Mitzvah is not necessarily representative of Bar and Bat Mitzvah celebrations in general. The article does bring up very good issues to discuss and to think about - ideas of heritage, history and identity - things that interracial Jewish adoptive families deal with on a daily basis.

Fu Qian, renamed Cecelia Nealon-Shapiro at 3 months, was one of the first Chinese... more

I have these posts, and others, placed under the category I call "Funny, she doesn't look Jewish." Although it's a bit tongue and cheek-ish, it's certainly something that is on our collective mind in general when we - adoptive parents - look into the adoption process. At some point during the journey, one discusses the issue of appearance. Some parents specifically look for a child with similar features - blond hair, blue eyes - not just similar coloring. When couples decide to look into international adoption, country of origin is a factor - brochures and web sites describe what the typical child from that country looks like. How dark is their skin? How round are their faces? How likely are... more

When does color matter?

Anna became aware of the fact that her skin color is different than ours early on. For a while, she was into pointing out everything and everyone who was "brown like me" as she would say. I think that every transracial family has the requisite book or two that talks about race. But what I found most helpful in our home is having books where the characters are of different races where the story doesn't focus on the subject of skin color at all.

Anna's skin color being different than ours is still something we talk about,... more