There are some couples who, when adopting, specifically look to adopt a child from the same background, religion, race or ethnicity. There are many reasons to argue in favor of this philosophy - it's what you know, what your comfort level may be, or what you are prepared to deal with. Some - understandably so - are so burnt out from dealing with the hardships of infertility that they don't want to put themselves in a position of more difficulties that come with certain kinds of adoptions.

Just yesterday, we had someone from the Division of Youth and Family Services (DYFS) come to our house. It seems that they are developing a new system of matching kids to "resource families" (foster/... more

Here is one of my favorite stories. It's short and simple, but the message has stayed with me. I know it has been helpful to the mind set of many parents facing the challenge of raising children who may be disabled in some way...

Once, the great Hassidic leader, Zusia, came to his followers. His eyes were red with tears, and his face was pale with fear. "Zusia, what's the matter? You look frightened!"

"The other day, I had a vision. In it, I learned the question that the angels will one day ask me about my life."

The followers were puzzled. "Zusia, you are pious. You are scholarly and humble. You have helped so many of us. What question about your... more

I wanted to continue the discussion on adoption language and talk today about another issue of language that we need to be mindful of, especially in the case of a transracial adoption like ours.

A few weeks ago, we spent Shabbat at my aunt and uncle's house. While they are about the same religious level as we are - modern orthodox - they live in a much more insular, homogenous and wealthy community. Anna was having a wonderful time running around with my little cousin, and we were sitting down with them having a conversation about whatever it was when my... more

A while ago, I posted about choosing your words carefully. Jan, over at the Adoption Search blog, posted today about not using the word 'unwanted' to refer to children who are adopted and instead to substitute the word 'unplanned.' You can read my comment to Jan's posting at the link above, but here's a bit of what Jan said:

I also know how it pains us birth parents to see people throwing out that term when referring to our children. My son was not "unwanted", he was "unplanned". There is a huge difference.... more

Yesterday I was at a friend's house where our kids were playing together. This particular friend and I have been close since high school, got married around the same time, both ended up living in the same town, and have the same general outlook for where we see our family in ten years. She knows about all the fertility stuff I went through - to the best of her ability as someone who never went through it, and got pregnant easily and had a real live baby. I have explained to her several times why we did not continue to pursue fertility treatments and decided to get "off the train."

But... more

I'm working on a post about the 'pros' of TV watching, but it is awfully hard considering all the 'cons' I've been able to find out there.

I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book. -- Groucho Marx (1895 ~ 1977)

Today, I wanted to bring you an excerpt from Lawrence Keleman's book, To Kindle A Soul - it is a great parenting book that applies to everyone not just Jewish families. He actually devotes an entire chapter in his book to talking about... more

How many of us plan our day around the TV? Plan to be back from food shopping or meetings by a certain time so we won't miss a show? How many of us make sure our kids watch something at a particular time so they won't 'freak out' from missing the show?

I know I myself have been and continue to be guilty of this. And even as I do it, I hate the fact that I follow this behavior. I know how ridiculous I sound when I tell someone I want to be home to watch such-and-such a program....and I know I am, in some ways, a slave to my TV.

We are fast approaching the holiday of Passover, when we celebrate our freedom from Egypt. 'Freedom,'... more

When I was a kid, many of my friends' parents would tell me that 'TV rots your brain' - I guess it was a popular phrase back then as they tried to get us away from watching the tube. I grew up on Saturday morning cartoons (in the days before I observed Shabbat). I got a television in my bedroom when I turned twelve. I started watching 'R' rated movies long before I was seventeen.

The high school I went to was pretty conservative, and very religious and observant. Although the population of the school was somewhat mixed, many of the kids came from homes where they did not have even one television,... more

Yesterday I posted in amazement that Anna had actually slept through the night. My daughter is three years old. To some of you, it may be a shock that my three year old still can't manage to sleep through the night, and to others....this may be your life too!

I learned from a friend of mine about Attachment Parenting. It's a concept I'm still exploring, and you're welcome to learn along with me. I agree with a lot of their ideals, and disagree with many others. Attachment Parenting advocates... more

Wow. That's really all I have to say.

Okay I'll elaborate - I got eight - count them - eight (!!!) hours of uninterrupted sleep last night. That only happens when I'm away on business....Anna is three years old and still rarely sleeps through the night. RARELY. Next to never.

I love her dearly, but hey! Eight hours of sleep is pretty darn cool!

We have looked at basically every philosophy on children and sleep that there is out there. I think every parent has given me their two cents on what worked amazingly well for their kid, and always assures me that it will work for my child.

First of all, you have to know your kid. I firmly believe that a lot of these... more