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Jewish Adoption Blog

06/16/06

Transracial Adoption in the media

Posted by : Naomi in Jewish Adoption Blog at 02:29 pm , 656 words, 68 views  
Categories: Funny, she doesn't look Jewish, Jewish Adoption Resources
Although I had both good vibes and okay vibes from this article in a recent issue of Jewish Action, I still like to see the topic of Adoption, and specifically Jewish Adoption being discussed. The full text of the article can be found here. People often inquire about the subject of Jewish families and Transracial adoption. I've brought a small excerpt below:

But You Don’t Look Jewish

Parents who adopt a baby from overseas or a child of mixed race face the additional concern of communal acceptance. David and Sarah Feinberg [name has been changed]of Long Island, New York, married later in life, yet still very much desired to build a family. In January 1996, they signed up with the Jewish Children’s Adoption Network (JCAN), a Jewish adoption exchange based in Denver www.users.uswest.net/~jcan/), and hoped for the best. They didn’t expect to have an offer presented three days later. The JCAN notified the Feinbergs about a healthy biracial baby about to be born to a white birth mother requesting a Jewish adoptive couple. They had a few days to decide. “There was no question,” says Sarah. “We were interested.”

Finding parenting an experience well worth repeating, the couple registered with the state as available foster parents for children likely to be put up for adoption. They fostered a fourmonth-old Caucasian boy, Eli, whom they soon adopted. Looking to adopt again, they registered with an agency. Within the year, the agency called to inform them of an about-to-be-born biracial baby. “We already had a biracial child,” says Sarah. “So we adopted another.”

The Feinbergs’ biracial children have found their road to acceptance
rough at times. “When people say things like: ‘Where is she from? She’s so
exotic,’ unless I think they’re just being nosey, I give people straight information,”says Sarah. “I say, ‘She’s biracial and was born in New York.’” Some situations were clearly unpleasant. “My husband was once asked in shul: ‘Who’s that shvartze girl with you?’ He answered: ‘That’s my daughter. She likes to come to shul with me.’ The man quickly apologized.”

Unfortunately, some children have picked up this intolerance. “Kindergarten seems to be a grade when children begin to notice differences,” says Sarah. “Shoshana, who had just turned six, came home crying: ‘All the kids say I’m dirty,’ and, Eli, her older white brother, said he doesn’t like black people. I asked him where he got that
[idea] from and told him that our family is made up of all colors. He said; ‘I don’t mean my sisters.’ I told him that black people are like everybody else; some you’ll like and some you won’t. Some will be part of your family and some won’t.” As for the “dirty” comment, Sarah gently instructed her daughter to tell her classmates that Hashem [G-d] made her with darker skin. “I told her to tell them: ‘I’m biracial. My parents adopted me, and now I’m Jewish, and I love the Torah just as much as you do.’ Most children aren’t saying these things to be mean. They’re curious and simply want an explanation. We need to come back with an answer that makes them think.”

Other “different-looking” adopted children integrate fairly painlessly into the Jewish community. Aryeh and Ephraim Lamm, two South Korean born
boys, attended Jewish day school in New Jersey, where they were rarely
the targets of negative comments. “Ninety-nine percent of the time, they
were completely accepted,” says Cheryl, their adoptive mother. “The kids who make derogatory comments are most likely the ones who would make fun of someone with glasses or [someone who] is overweight.” Aryeh is currently reveling in his year of learning in Israel, and Ephraim enjoys his studies and valued friendships at his Hebrew high school. “I think they’ve both been very blessed,” says Cheryl.

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