This weekend, we are going away for a cousin's Bar Mitzvah. A Bar Mitzvah is the celebration of a boy reaching the age of mitzvot - the age when he becomes responsible for his actions as a full fledged member of the Jewish community. A girl celebrates this milestone at the age of twelve or thirteen depending on the movement and community. It has special significance for the Jewish adopted child.

When Anna was adopted, we - as her parents - had her converted to Judaism. It was our choice for her. As she becomes a Bat Mitzvah, she will be affirming that she wants to accept upon her the choice that we made. Some kids actually choose to incorporate the official "act of choosing" into their speech or Bar/ Bat Mitzvah ceremony. I've heard of kids deciding at their Bar/ Bat Mitzvah that they don't want to be Jewish (after having converted as children) but I've never heard a story like that first hand or from a reputable source.

The fact is that stories may be out there. And it's an idea that any Jewish parent faces - adoptive parent or otherwise. Our children may choose to go a different path than we have put forth for them.

My cousin - the one who is having a Bar Mitzvah this weekend - is being raised Jewish. His father is Jewish and his mother is not. Although in the Reform movement he is considered Jewish, he may choose a different path in the future. He may decide not to practice Judaism, or he may choose to become even more observant, thus facing the possibility of converting if he wants to practice as a Conservative or Orthodox Jew (since his mother isn't Jewish. Confusing, yes?)

We all must make our own decisions as adults. But I think it behooves us as parents to give our kids the best foundation that we can before they are forced to make the hard decisions for themselves.