Apparently, there are several books out there that explain why we are who we are based on what number sibling we are in our family. Perhaps I should read one or two. But how much is really controlled by our place in the pecking order? And how much would we change if our place was somehow changed?

Personally, I think that the answer really depends on the individual. For some people, their place among their siblings may not have had a large influence on who they became as a person. Perhaps if they were moved from second oldest to youngest among the children, their personalities would have remained very much the same. For me, I know that I am the typical type 'A' personality of the oldest child and first grandchild. I know that I bossed my sister around like the typical older sister, and I know that even now as adults, I find that I talk to my parents in a different manner than my sister seems to.

And even though I can distinctly remember asking my parents for an older brother or sister, I have a really hard time trying to figure out how I would have reacted if one had actually joined the family. For me, being the oldest was a big influence on my personality. Anna, for better or for worse, has the same place in our family that I had in mine. She is both our eldest and the first grandchild on both sides. And she, at four years old, is already strong willed and a born leader. And she too asked for an older brother or sister. Perhaps it's a natural thing to ask for when many of your friends are younger siblings, or when learning about family dynamics in preschool. But I highly doubt that she'd do well with an older sibling. So even though we, as an adoptive family, are in the unique position of actually providing our child with an older sibling if we so chose, we will instead continue to explain to Anna that no matter how many kids we have in our family, she will always be the eldest. For better or for worse.