ouch,that is a tough dynamic to consider. No words of wisdom, but lots of empathy coming your way.

We had to wait until both of our foster son's were adopted to have them circumcised. The younger was about 15 months and didn't seem to remember it. Buck was about 2, I think. He talked for a couple of years after that about the doctor cutting his penis off. He doesn't remember it now and seemed embarrassed by my story. I don't think it was really a pain issue.
Julia

I know this is a religious issue, but it does seem to have the potential to become a bolder with your child down the road. The debate between the do it and don't do it groups is loud and seems to be getting louder. The 'don't do it' makes the point that this should be the child's choice, it is not medically required. I am not arguing who is right, what counts is how your child feels about it as he gets older. If the argument 'It was your right, and your parents had no right to do that' resonates with him, this could be a large issue.

The adopted son of a friend, finally let his mom know how much he hated his foster parents for circumcising him. The mom checked it out and let him know that his foresskin was badly infected, and that was the reason for the surgery. To her amazement, he continued to see the foster family as bad people for cutting him 'down there'. That was long before the current 'Its your right' stuff was in the media.

Part of how this might play out depends on where you live. Julia is in MI, an area where that procedure is still routinely done. Her kids go to school with other kids who also had this. Here is CA, it is much less common, and the child is more likely to wonder why he has to look different.

There are always issues to deal with in adoption, good luck. John

Why not consider a Brit Shalom instead of Milah? Same beautiful traditional singing, words, same joyous celebration, same champagne and party sandwiches but no cutting of anyone's penis.

A doting auntie- musician in Philadelphia has even composed music, "The Joy of Brit Shalom' in honor of the ritual and others have added the appropriate words to it. Many areas have rabbis who are happy to perform it, and I'm quite certain you will be happier as parents. There is no doubt at all that Adam will be happier, and will thank you most appreciatively in time for leaving him whole.

Anna would need no painful explanation for the painful proceedure with its many risks and the life-long loss Adam would have to endure. After all the prepuce, through recent foundational anatomical research is now known to be not just skin but an actual organ and a nerve plexus, with 20,000 - 40,000 nerveendings, 2 dozen important functions, not just sexual, but affecting general health.

Over 100,000 men worldwide are now performing 'foreskin restoration', many of them Jewish, many MDs.

Many men are now turning from the roots which predicated their having been cut as infants and children, and as already noted in an earlier comment, some children express rage and hatred for having been circumcised, some even become physically violent. I have witnessed very violent behaviour from 3 and 4 year olds circumcised latewhich changed entire family dynamics, even destroying the family.

Lots more and many links here:

www.circumstitions.com/shalom

Dr. Mark Reiss will be happy to discuss it with you. Dr Reiss is a retired physician, a member of an Orthodox Jewish congregation and has grandsons who are not circumcised but have been "Bris Shalomed"

Many blessings for the welcoming of your son into your family.

Maurene White, R.N. Montreal

Yes, please do consider Bris Shalom. More and more of us are! :)

http://www.jewishcircumcision.org/

Providers:

http://www.circumstitions.com/Jewish-shalom.html