In the days before there were children in this house and Cheerios in every corner of every room, I would watch other parents. As most of my friends were parents before I was, this task was quite easy. We would hang out together after services in synagogue, we would shmooze about this and that and the conversation would invariably turn to children.
And that's when things got competitive.

Who's child is sitting up? Which child is talking? Already? No, wait, my kid is already reading at a third grade level at the age of five. Oh - but you didn't hear what my daughter did the other day....

Everyone seemed to want to 'one-up' the other in terms of which kid was more advanced. And on the flip side, if there was a child who was delayed in some way, or physically or mentally challenged, it would be the same thing all over again: My son isn't even sitting up yet! My child is only now just starting to talk - at four! Etc.

I watched this all - as a pre-parent - and vowed I would never be like one of those parents.

And yet I am. I regret to say it, but I am. Maybe not half as bad as some, but bad enough that I catch myself doing it. I don't like it - I tell myself not to talk like that and yet I find the words coming out of my mouth. Is this the inevitable tendency of parents to talk this way? Is it out of some subconscious desire to make sure that my kids are just as normal as others that I do this?

As we are about to go into Shabbat here, I ponder this idea as I watch my kids get ready for bed. I hope not to find myself comparing my kid to other peoples'. Maybe it is just one of those normal parent things to do...