e-mail
A friend of mine is in the process of buying a house in town. I think she’s in the middle of attorney review or just out of that stage. The other day I was on the phone with her and she made a comment about “the house we are not supposed to talk about.” Now, I’m a homeowner myself. I think we may not have spread the word around before we were well into the process simply because – well – we were selfish and didn’t want our friends to become our competitors in bidding on the house.
But it is unclear – at what point during the period leading up to a major life event does it become appropriate to discuss the specifics or make your news public? So how do you know when is the right time for you to talk about your upcoming adoption with your friends and family?
Here are some questions to ponder first before you start spreading the news. Keep in mind that while there is nothing wrong with talking about your adoption process with others – I actually think it’s helpful – once you start telling people, it’s hard to get people to stop talking to you about it.
Are you an open book or a private person? Did you talk about fertility treatments with others or did you keep the details more private? How comfortable are you with talking about the subject matter? How ready are you to answer prying questions about the ‘what’s, ‘why’s, ‘how’s and ‘when’s about your adoption?
I think that in most cases it’s appropriate to tell family first and then close friends. For us, our family and very close friends knew we were going through the process. But other than that no one really knew until Anna arrived. We knew that we had a long road ahead of us – it took seventeen months for the adoption to be finalized – and we knew we would have plenty of time for people to be nagging us for information. So we decided to keep things quiet until we had no choice but to talk about it.
And then the flood gates opened.
