A few years ago when we "got off the train" as I like to say, and stopped pursuing treatments for infertility, we turned to adoption. I know that we had talked about the possibility of adopting before we got married, as we suspected that I may have trouble conceiving, but nothing was ever carved in stone. I also don't recall having a serious sit-down discussion with my husband regarding our options post fertility-hell. I guess it was just obvious to both of us that we would go through the adoption process.

And yet, it's not so simple for many people. There is a huge pressure to have children within the Jewish community - we have all gotten the "So, when are you going to have a baby?" question posed to us more times than we'd like to count. But when the stork doesn't arrive through the usual ways, not everyone decides immediately to adopt.

Some people need time to come to terms with the loss of what they never had. Others need time to examine their feelings to see if they could love a child that is not biologically related to them.

And still other couples will never be on the same page. Where one wants to adopt and the other chooses to remain childless.

I know quite a number of couples who for a variety of reasons never adopted and remained without any children. My mother always says to me that she doesn't understand why they didn't just adopt. I try to explain to her that no one "just" adopts - it's not so simple. And each and every relationship and marriage is complex and unique - and not always for us to understand.

And so today, to all of you who find yourself in that situation, my heart goes out to you. It is my prayer that you find the peace that you are looking for.