Recently, there has been some good discussion on one of the message boards here regarding the discussion of religion when talking to potential birth families. Some of the people that had posted on the message board said that they had not or had not yet discussed the fact that they were Jewish with the potential birth mother. Searching for a baby available for adoption, or searching for a potential birth mother to work with is a stressful time for all - this goes without saying. And depending on your situation, religious or other sensitive issues may come up. Is full disclosure appropriate in all situations? That's really the question here.

Adoption in general is a strange process. We turn our lives inside out for agencies, case workers and home studies and (if going privately or through an agency) often demand that any potential birth mother provide very detailed history - medical, psychological, academic, etc. But what information is the future adoptive parent obligated to provide the potential birth family? The answer is that there seem to be no clear cut guidelines.

In today's day and age of open adoptions, I believe that withholding major information such as a family's religion is treading on thin ice. If any contact is to be maintained with the potential birth family, the information will come out. As I have noticed, raising our four year old, there is no way for her to be convinced not to talk about something. Meaning that if we were in touch with her birth family, there is no way that we could avoid discussion of the fact that we are Jewish.

If contact is to be maintained, and you're looking for a good relationship with the birth family, then a real evaluation of what issues are appropriate to bring up should take place.