How much of our thought process is governed by where we live and what time and place we are living in? I was thinking about this recently when visiting with a relative of mine. She's in her late sixties and never had any children, though she was married at one time and was pregnant. Unfortunately, she lost the pregnancy in her third trimester and she and her husband were unable to console each other and unable to agree to move forward with looking into adoption, divorced. It took her a long time to be able to move on with her life from that point.

But I wondered recently - if she were living that part of her life in 2007, would she have gone on to adopt as a single woman - something really not available or accepted at the time? I'm not sure the answer to that question, but I'm sure it would have been better to have that option available to her.

How much does where or how we live affect our adoption decisions? Do we decide not to adopt transracially because no one else we know has done it or because of personal feelings that developed because of our own upbringing? Do we look to have a certain number of children based on what we see around us? Do we have an open adoption or closed? How much of our decision to look into adopting from certain countries and not others is based on what others in our community tell us, and how many of these decisions are based solely on what we feel inside?

Adoption has changed over the past few decades - the way we talk about it with others, whether and when we tell our children of their background, who can adopt and from where and how we can adopt. I would like to hope that the steps made over the past years have been for the better, and hope that the growing and learning process only continues. I would like to hope that things will continue to even out and that information and options are available to everyone, regardless of where or when they find themselves faced with making decisions.