Most people I know are pretty open about their adoption, the process, the ones that fell through. They talk openly about it alone or in front of their children - all who are aware that they are adopted and that this is part of their story.

One adoptive mother in town told me about some mistakes they felt they had made with their first daughter, in telling her early on details of her birth mother's full name and I guess some background information. She - a young girl at the time - then went around to many of her friends and told them. I guess it put the adoptive parents in a weird situation.

With us, we've tried as much as possible to keep the details of Anna's history private. People always ask where she's from, and I name a large city near to where she's actually from instead of the real location. When asked why The State removed her from her birth mother's care, I say that her birth mother was really just a young girl herself and probably scared - instead of the whole story.

Anna, at four, knows her birth mother's first name. We have no contact with her, or anyone from her past besides her foster family. It was weird for me at first, having Anna know her birth mother's name, but now I think it's good. Anna needs to have some piece of information that is age appropriate for her to learn. She wanted to know the name of the lady's tummy that she grew in (during a discussion on the birds and the bees) and I hesitated for just a moment before I told her.

I know as she gets older that more and more of her story will come out, but I want Anna to know two things. One: That we, as her parents, never lied to her or tried to hide the truth from her. And Two: That we told her the facts first, then let it be her decision how much to tell others.

I'm just trying to prepare answers for what will invariably be the next question that Anna asks..."Is the lady Jewish like me?"