So, how superstitious are you? Historically, Jews were stereotypically superstitious (say that three times fast), but then again so was the rest of the world. Nowadays, I think it's safe to say that the majority of the modern world has moved away from getting worried about black cats or bad dreams or what-not.

And yet. And yet I am superstitious about some things. I will not buy someone a baby present before they have actually had the baby. I will not wish someone a "mazel tov" (congratulations) before something has actually happened. And as much as we treat Adam as our own kid, I have a hard time referring to him as 'our son' when, at the moment, he is not ours.

The other day, my husband - playing around as usual - put a kippah (yarmulke, skull cap - you pick the word) on Adam. I immediately told my husband to remove it - it bothered me somehow. Yes, Adam looked absolutely adorable with it on - actually quite Israeli looking with his dark curls and dark complexion - but it bothered me. Adam isn't ours. He isn't Jewish. Do I hope he becomes ours? Of course, but in the meantime, I guess that I'm just not so interested in tempting fate.

Today, Adam's caseworker came over to give us paperwork to fill out in preparation for processing Adam's adoption. Note that Adam is not yet legally free for adoption. He may or may not become legally free for adoption - we still don't know and probably won't know for another month or two. Or more. And here is the caseworker getting everything ready as if we are good to go.

On the one hand, I'm happy - for our sake - that she seems confident that Adam will become available for adoption. And at the same time, there is that little voice in my head that is telling me that it's too soon to fill out paperwork - that I shouldn't be signing any of this unless I know for sure it will go through. And although I know that me being nuts superstitious cautious about putting the cart before the horse will have no bearing on the outcome, I still wish she'd just hold off a little while before starting paperwork for Adam.