Here is one of my favorite stories. It's short and simple, but the message has stayed with me. I know it has been helpful to the mind set of many parents facing the challenge of raising children who may be disabled in some way...

Once, the great Hassidic leader, Zusia, came to his followers. His eyes were red with tears, and his face was pale with fear.
"Zusia, what's the matter? You look frightened!"

"The other day, I had a vision. In it, I learned the question that the angels will one day ask me about my life."

The followers were puzzled. "Zusia, you are pious. You are scholarly and humble. You have helped so many of us. What question about your life could be so terrifying that you would be frightened to answer it?"

Zusia turned his gaze to heaven. "I have learned that the angels will not ask me, 'Why weren't you a Moses, leading your people out of slavery?'"

His followers persisted. "So, what will they ask you?"

"And I have learned," Zusia sighed, "that the angels will not ask me, 'Why weren't you a Joshua, leading your people into the promised land?'"

One of his followers approached Zusia and placed his hands on Zusia's shoulders. Looking him in the eyes, the follower demanded, "But what will they ask you?"

"They will say to me, 'Zusia, there was only one thing that no power of heaven or earth could have prevented you from becoming.' They will say, 'Zusia, why weren't you Zusia?'

Source: World Union of Jewish Students

The angels are asking, "Why weren't you the best YOU you could have been?" The point is not for us to try to be someone we are not, or strive to emulate celebrities or dress a certain or do something because of peer pressure. We also should not put the same demands on all of our children - even though college and medical school may be a fine path for one of the kids, doesn't mean we need to put undue pressure or demands on the rest of our children.

One of the many sentences I never want to say to my child is "Why can't you be like so-and-so?" Because that's not the right question to be asking. If anything, ask only about working up to their own full potential - a question we all need to ask ourselves. Why aren't we Zusia? Why am I not being the best Naomi I can be?