Adopting a baby or child is an exciting and often overwhelming time in any family, any culture or religion. We are blessed to be in such a great supportive community - the week that Anna came to us (almost three years ago!) members of the community cooked meals for us, and provided us with food for that Shabbat.

And then the questions came. When are you going to convert her? Are you keeping her name? And even - Where are you sending her to school (Anna was all of 15ish months at the time) I guess people around us who had seen their friends or relatives go through the adoption process were used to the domestic adoption process where the waiting period finalization is finite, or the international adoption process where the adoption is essentially completed while in the foreign country. Adopting through the state foster care system is a whole other ballgame.

The word of the day is that we should be able to adopt Adam. But that is different from what we were told by a different individual last week and will probably be different from what we will hear in the coming weeks. In the Jewish tradition, a brit milah is held eight days after a baby boy is born, which is when he receives his name. Baby girls are traditionally given their name at a naming ceremony on Shabbat morning, or any other time that the Torah is read in synagogue (Mondays, Thursdays, holidays and the first day of the month on the Jewish calendar). Often people who adopt newborns domestically are able to hold these ceremonies very close to their actual perscribed times, if not on the day itself. Families who adopt from abroad are able to hold these ceremonies as soon as possible, knowing that everything has been finalized.

For us, it's a bit weird. We have a baby arrive at our house, and then a year or two (or three?) later, the adoption is finalized, and we can officially welcome s/he into our family and our people. As much as I am happy that we chose to go this route in adopting our children, it does make one wonder if it would be any easier going private domestic or pursuing an international adoption....Is the grass greener on the other side?

I think the answer is obviously there are problems in any process. I'm glad that there are different options to pursue adoption, as what is right for one person may or may not be appropriate for another family. I know I can use the cliché that had we gone a different route, we wouldn't have Anna - but it's true.