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Jewish Adoption Blog

10/10/06

Un-Adopting

Posted by : Naomi in Jewish Adoption Blog at 05:47 am , 477 words, 179 views  
Categories: News Heard 'Round The World
There have been a few cases of adoptive parents trying to un-adopt or send their kids back to the country that they were adopted from after for whatever reason their parents no longer want to be their parents. Somehow, I am always drawn to read these stories, to find out exactly why these people who work so hard to become parents later change their mind. This is the latest case which brings up an issue I hadn't seen before in one of these stories. This is off of CNN through the AP. Comments Anyone? I'll post my own reactions later today.

LORTON, Virginia (AP) -- A woman is taking the unusual step of trying to unadopt her 15-year-old son, saying she learned of his troubled past only after he molested two younger children.

"You don't want to throw somebody away," said Helen Briggs, a longtime foster mother. "But sometimes you have to."

Briggs, 57, said she did not know that the boy had lived in five foster homes since he was 16 months old, or that he had been physically abused by his alcohol- and drug-addicted biological parents and was possibly psychotically bipolar.

"I did not know any of that," Briggs said. "They just told me he was hyperactive."

Virginia policy mandates that caseworkers provide "full, factual information" about a child to adoptive parents. State child welfare advocates would not comment on the case because of confidentiality rules.

But records obtained by The Washington Post show some caseworkers do not believe Briggs' claim that she was not fully informed and think she may be trying to get out of having to pay child support.

After the youngster molested a 6-year-old boy and a 2-year-old girl in 2003, he was deemed a "sexual predator" by psychologists. That meant that if he remained in Briggs' home, she could no longer be a foster parent to others or allow her three grandchildren in her home, so she chose to try to dissolve the adoption.

A judge granted Briggs's bid to relinquish custody, and the boy is back in foster care. But in Virginia, a child older than 14 must give consent, and the teenager wants Briggs to remain his mother.

Briggs, who with her husband adopted the boy when he was 9, is still required to pay $427 per month in child support.

Briggs said the state's failure to fully disclose the boy's background is tantamount to fraud, and she has asked politicians for help finding a way out of the situation.

"At first blush, you think, `What, you're trying to give up your kid? You're a jerk,"' said state Delegate David B. Albo.

"Then you find this lady has received awards for all the foster work she's done. And that she never would have adopted the boy and put other children in danger if she had had the information that was withheld from her."

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Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: marymartha [Member] Email
I think the system is SO bad that the Social Workers in some places have started to lie to place kids. I think our country has fallen into such a place of moral decline that more and more kids are getting molested, NAMBLA is growing in numbers, and people are doing little to nothing to stop it. I think that sex is everywhere, making it seem normal to nine year olds. I think the foster care system is broken. They are leaving kids in homes where drug use and molestation is happeneing because the case is "closed" because the kids would be to hard to handle, and moving kids from one foster home to another without properly screening the families. I think Parents have reached a point where they are scared to parent their children because the government is so intrusive that the kid can cry abuse and will always be believed. I think this poor womans heart is probably broken over a broken child whom she cannot parent because it is putting other children at risk.
PermalinkPermalink 10/10/06 @ 08:37
Comment from: MichMc [Member] Email
This is so sad on so many levels. As I started reading, I'm thinking "What's wrong with this lady?" and then as I read further, I got to the part where you see the whole picture.

What an incredible moral question--do you sacrifice the one who may need you most for the good of the group, or do you stick with the one and sacrifice the rest.

And the poor boy! To be asked to be un-adopted? Obviously he has a lot going on and is in need of intense help==help that shouldn't come in the form of making his mother choose between him and the rest of the children.

Makes my every day drama seem so shallow and small.
PermalinkPermalink 10/12/06 @ 17:53
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