Who's afraid of an open adoption? Lots of people. Really - even today, in 2007, when adoptions have come such a long way from the back alleys and black markets, people are still afraid of committing to an open adoption.

And it is a scary concept to a large degree. A lot of the issues stem from fear of the unknown - maybe this isn't the adoption you imagined. But the more you read about it, and the more you talk to people - maybe even a potential birth mother - it seems like a good idea.

And yet... Will I be the real parent? Will my child's birth parents come and take my child back? Will other people understand the arrangement? Will our child be confused? How will I explain to my child that s/he is Jewish and their biological family is not? What will we do with Christmas presents sent by the biological family? Will our child's birth mother accept the fact that we are raising her child as a Jew?

The answer to all these questions is that open adoption is a real option that should be looked into seriously as you pursue your options. Most potential birth parents are looking for a good, solid home in which to place their child. Some will not want to place their child with a Jewish family, and that's their right in choosing a family.

The keyword here is "Open" - be open (and positive) as much as possible. Be open with the agency about your concerns - they should listen to you and help you. Be open with your potential birth parents about your ideas and expectations of the future. You'd be surprised how much of the time people are really on the same page but just afraid to voice how they feel.

Don't be afraid of open adoptions. Don't do it if it's not right for you - but don't eliminate the option out of fear.